Choux Hearts

where romance is nuance, love is encyclopedic

Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:21:31 GMT

Its just plain lovely when awesome weekends come around.

And I think I've said this enough, but yeah, I'm extremely extremely glad that Jehan and I get along so well. She's just great in every sense of the word. Babe, if you're reading this : You. Me. Madagascar. Set? Let's just leave the boys to their Quantum of Solace nonsense ok?

Things I did over the past 3 days:

1. Finished reading "For One More Day" which almost made me cry.

2. Hung out at Starbucks with Yana. Listening to her always makes my life that much more exciting.

3. Drank Dark Cherry Mocha Frappe. Yum-my.

4. Walked over to Bedok Jetty via the Chamber of Secrets with my parents and le fiancee and hung out there till midnight.

6. Talked to Jehan online for the first time and found out that we might be long lost sisters.

7. Went to a wedding dinner that had a 12-course meal. Only enjoyed the 12th course ie. the Chocolate Fondue.

9. Went to my aunt's for a kenduri and played Taboo with the girl cousins.

10. Did some matchmaking that might just be the start of something new. (Ew wait did I just sound like someone out of HSM?)

Yay -- nothing feels better than feeling accomplished :)))

you held your breath and the door for me

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 01:01:50 GMT

Last night was awesome wasn't it. Talk about stretching a Friday night. THAT was really stretched ;)

grey-ing

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 00:26:13 GMT

I read an article on yahoo.com about how some TV characters ought to be written off from their program because they are like a bad seed ruining the show. And one of them turned out to be Izzie Stevens on Grey's Anatomy. And I wasn't too shocked by that because as much as Izzie is my favourite, I absolutely hate what the writers have done to her character - making her have this sudden love for George and then they sleep together and George ruins his marriage with Gomez(can't recall her first name in the show but I like her). What a waste!

She was such a lovely character, and I loved her even more when that patient she fell in love with died and she was in a despair and then it turns out that that patient left her 3 million dollars or something like that and she invested that into building a clinic for the hospital. I mean, what a beautiful hero :) And now? She seems like nothing but a husband stealer who is completely dumb for falling in love with her best friend when she should rightfully (in my expert opinion) fall in love with Alex Krabb.

Please make the coming episodes good please! Otherwise, I think the writers should be the ones being written off for coming up with such sucky happenings.

cos i can't wait to marry you

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 11:55:05 GMT

I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I'm a puzzle yes indeed
Ever-complex in every way
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day

I neglect you when I'm working
When I need a attention
I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen

You see potential in all my flaws
And that's exactly what I mean

I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you

And that's why I love you

No we're not fine, Yes we're just fantastic

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 02:27:06 GMT

How erratic are we these days.

turn the page

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 13:37:20 GMT

And before you know it, tomorrow's Friday. Seriously scary how time flies.You miss a day, you miss a moment, and it's gone. You won't even remember how you felt, what you said, how fast your heart was beating. Cause now, it has fast forwarded to 3 days later. I mean, what the heck happened there???

Let's see, my family's doing good. Or at least I pray they are. 2/3 of us are working people who stay put in offices, typing away at the computer, making phone calls, sending emails, rushing for meetings. Just normal basic human stuff.

The fiancee's going through some rough patches at work but nothing that he can't fix. He's a smart man, I trust him to know what he's doing with his life. It's scary to put that kinda trust out there, knowing that he'll be the one leading me and my future family in the next year. I mean, I've only trusted one man for that job and that is my daddy. Waking up every morning knowing that he will save me from any troubles that I may have. He's been my only hero thus far, and now, knowing that that role for me will be taken over by some man I've only met 5 months ago, is terrifying. If not for the love, I would not accept it.

Work for me on the other hand is pretty mundane. But I guess I'm satisfied with mundane. I'm not really one for challenges and risks, so its nice to be comfortable where I am right now, what with the economy crisis and all. Please Obama take the world out of Bush's hands.

I don't really know if any of you reading this get what I'm rambling about here. All I'm saying is, I'm trying to notice things around me. See things..really see things. Smile at people. Acknowledge others, even those who you feel do not earn your respect. It's all about forgiveness. About acceptance. About living life and appreciating your time on this earth cos God might just take it all away from you in the next second, and you won't even have time to blink or to tell the people around you how much you love them.

I need to be more aware of that possibility. Remember life. Remember death. Embrace one. Be prepared for the other.

Mosh Ana

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 17:07:08 GMT

People in my life rock...

*points directly at Nana Bagharib*

:)

Why always 'Not yet'? Do flowers in spring say, 'Not yet'?

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 03:24:44 GMT

I guess no matter what, certain things will continue to be very difficult to deal with. I realised that I have never been more of a crybaby than for the past months. Too many things that exhaust me, too many things that get me worried till my complexion goes horrid, too many things that gets my body aching cause every nerve in my body is tense. Nights can get oh so hard.

But I love waking up in the morning. There's always renewed hope. Things to look forward to and dealing with in a much wiser way so that I don't get hurt in the end. I mean, nothing's ever easy is it. Thank goodness for my sister though. She's my rock.

Anyways, Said's wedding has finally passed. Yesterday was a blast. I mean, it was not fun to wake up at 830 having to attend the nikah at 11 which was all the way at Sembawang. People who know me well enough know that I absolutely hate to rush. I get all restless and my make-up will be all wrong and I'll feel even worse. But thats not the point. The point is, first cousin's weddings are always so so so much fun cause everyone's just hanging out and feeling glad for our cousin going up that pelamin looking all cute with their partner. But this wedding was a little different for me cause I got a lot of "So Nazia, we'll see you up there in 7 months huh.." "So babe, are you all prepared?" "Heyyy Naz how are youuu, all ready to do this in 7 months??"

*Faints*

It makes me all fidgety thinking of the million things I have yet to do. But then again, its all about basking in the next 7 months, take in every single occasion, every single meeting, every single conversation with my family and cousins and friends. InsyaAllah I will have every one of them there for my wedding. All 4 days of them =p

Till then, I'm gonna enjoy my Sunday now xoxo

photo montage‏

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:19:16 GMT

I cannot believe I would have to dig up all my hideous baby, toddler and adolescent pictures for my wedding photo montage.

Oh the horror :(

take all your so called problems, better put them in quotations‏

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:15:27 GMT

I cannot stand people with negative vibes, who find it satisfying somehow to shoot those vibes to you and make you feel bad or get you hurt, whether it be intentional or not. Its just plain evil. Like evil stepmother kind of evil. But no way am I gonna let any of that affect my next 7 months. Because to me, suggestions are more than welcome, but opinions especially negative ones, should just be kept to self. Different people have different outlooks on what is nice or suitable to them. No one opinion is the best. Period.

All in all, I'm guessing there are only a few people I can truly trust to share my opinions with. After all, it is my function and I should have the most fun planning it innit.

Somehow I wish I had a cd with all songs by John Mayer, James Morrison, Coldplay, Keane...their voices just make me swoooonn...

Its Time For A Love Revolution‏

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 13:28:39 GMT

Each passing day is just filled with non-stop thoughts of the 1001 things that has to be done. Its nice to know tho that people are willing to help me out. But I still do wish Adib was an Adibah so that I could have another girl to help me figure things out.

Unfortunately, all he's good for is to ask me out to watch HSM 3. Ew.

the truth will kill your buzz

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 01:35:22 GMT

Disclaimer: This post is about wedding plans. If reading the below will bore you to death, please kindly switch to another window.

I was talking to my best friend yesterday. And it looks like I will have tons of favours to ask of her. For the wedding I mean. Because that is almost the only thing I think and talk about these days. Pardon me, only 222 days left.

And no babe, you won't have to quit your job. Its just that, unfortunately or fortunately, I trust you the most when it comes to good taste - well you and my mum & sister - because I have zero taste. I'm tasteless. So I would need insignificantly significant things like good romantic songs over a couple of genres burned into cds for the DJ to play during the wedding dinner. Oh and can someone please remind me to get the cd of Arab songs from Adib. Apparently he said he burned it specially for me, but I know he's a liar. But I'll need it anyway. Please and thank you.

I still have not sorted out my guest list completely, and that needs to be done by end of this year so that I can start collecting addresses by Jan. Like my mum said, once 2009 touches down, it's all about now or never. Chop chop.

For now, I'm off to KL for a wedding. Congrats to my cousin Farizal & his wife.

milestones

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 12:36:44 GMT

21 Days Till Yana's 20th Bday

56 Days Till Twilight Opens

65 Days Till Rauf's 28th Bday

81 Days Till My 21st Bday

224 Days Till The Big Day

Obviously I have too much time on my hands today.

maybe he is to me what jacob is to bella

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 12:00:34 GMT

I just had a funny thought. Not the "haha" kind of funny, but the "HMM" kinda funny.

I don't really think I can elaborate on it here, cause my journal is not exactly private. And when I mean private, I mean, what I'm thinking right at this moment, is meant for my mind and my mind only. It would be most likely deadly for me if I ever put it down into clear words.

And if you do not get the title of this post, all the better.

of fire & ice

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 13:34:12 GMT

I was pleasantly reminded of how much fun I needed to have for the next few months when I "sampled" on clothes for my wedding at Merpati the other day. My mind and soul were suddenly lighted up at the thought of final fittings, trial make-ups, honeymoon planning, and the works. I was just thinking to myself, "This is going to be fun". InshaAllah.

:)

And it will be. Things will only turn out right if and when you want them to, cause the more I think about bad stuff, I attract the bad stuff literally to myself. Get myself all riled up for nothing. So anyway, Merpati was super fun. It was all about elaborate dressing, beads and sequins, beautiful colours, long wedding gown trains, lace, pearls, girly girly girly girly stuff that can just me giggle like a mad little girl.

the sweetness that wears me out

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 12:05:57 GMT

The hardest thing I've ever done is keep believing

There's someone in this crazy world for me

The way that people come and go through temporary lives

My chance could come and I might never know

I used to say "No promises, let's keep it simple"

But freedom only helps you say goodbye

It took a while for me to learn that nothing comes for free

The price I paid is high enough for me

So here I am with pockets full of good intentions

But none of them will comfort me tonight

I'm wide awake at 4 a.m. without a friend in sight

I'm hanging on a hope but I'm all right

...........................................

in my fantasy world, robert pattinson would be my hot vampire

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 13:30:53 GMT

It is kinda sad isn't it when you have some off nights. I mean, nights that do not really end well because you feel frustrated for some reason or another. Yesterday night was one of those nights. But I'm fine now of course.

Overall, the weekend was eventful, just like the past one. Lets see...

Went over to Kak Ibah's(future sister-in-law) house on Friday night. Ilyas and Hud are warming up to me more and more, which is nice :) Baby Shekha is just......6kg and damn cute.

Saturday started early with me making 50 cupcakes from 730am. Rauf, sis and I went to Borders in the afternoon. Bought myself Stephanie Meyer's infamous book, "Twilight", the sequel to "Twilight" and the 3rd book in the series. All for $35 :) And yes, the book is just fantastic. We headed to Ziyad's & Ahmad's party after. Missed the birthday song and cake-cutting part cause we were 2 hours late.. I know I know, its embarrassing. It would be easy to just blame it on Rauf...but well, we don't wanna get into a fight now do we? Ha. Ha. (Kidding)

I hoped Sunday would just be a lazy day, but we had to go over to my aunt's open house at Bukit Batok. We got back home at 8 and I just drowned myself in "Twilight" till 1030. Seriously, the book is really really good. And what makes it better is that the book has now been turned into a movie, and the hero is played by Robert Pattinson...*melts* Not only is he just plain hot, his character is a vampire. Hot. Vampire. Romance. What more do you need. I'm sorry, I guess I'm still acting like the 18-yr-old who fell madly in love with one Cedric Diggory from Harry Potter 4.

http://www.twilightthemovie.com/

:)

Like Pink Icing On A Cupcake

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 23:08:31 GMT

Time check : 643am on a Saturday morning.

I'm all set to go make me some cupcakes! :)

flowers in my hair

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 03:11:33 GMT

Lets relish this sunday morning :)

Hmm, random thoughts for today:

1. I need to get hold off every Racheal Yamagata cd.
2. I feel like deleting my Friendster off.
3. I miss talking to a few people.
4. I have not had Assam Laksa maggi mee in over a month. Wow.
5. I need to find time to make those cupcakes for the baby boys' party....maybe on Saturday morning?
6. I cannot stand bad English.

xo

That's All

Fri, 03 Oct 2008 03:21:20 GMT

So I decided to not see Jones Lang LaSalle for the next 3 days just because.

My shoulders and hips are aching so bad from raya-ing so much for the past 3 days. And I'm still not done yet ;)

The first day was not the usual first day, or at least I did not think so. We went to the usual houses yeahh..but not everyone was present and our timing at each house was all wrong. Haha! I know that's utter nonsense but well... -shrugs-

2nd day, meaning yesterday, was greaaatt :) Even tho the whole Pak Long(mum's side) gang couldn't come, dad's side all showed up all the way up till 11pm. It was just lovely to see Nana, Shasha, Eman, etc all over again. It has been way too long. And omg Nana, I still cannot get over what you told me. And you DON'T know who she is?? Why why why! Go find out pronto!

It wa nice that Rauf came early too. He got to mingle a lil with the cousins and aunties :) But the reason why I'm so-oh-tired is because Mr Considerate left at 1230am. Which, if you think about it, ultimately led to me being at home now, writing this post, instead of being at my workdesk checking all my work emails for the past 3 days and going manic over the amount of work I have to do. I mean, really, if that's his way of telling me that he doesn't want me to work in the near future, he could just say so ;)

Selamat Hari Raya everybody.

-cough cough-

Oh no, there is a tiny tiny tiny possibility I might be falling sick.

Damn those cookies and F&N drinks.

i want to miss your love

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:50:46 GMT

It is all just part & parcel of it isn't it.

When its up, its up. When its down, its down.

But its not nice that its down especially when the festive season's around the corner. I feel like I'm trap in a small room while the party's out there without me. I'm sure he feels the same too. It's not nice to hurt each other like this but we just need time out. Just for a little while. That's all.

I'm sure within 48 hours, I'll miss him. Starting to already, but I'm still hurt.

But putting all that aside,

I'M JUST SO ECSTATIC THAT I WILL NOT BE IN OFFICE TILL FRIDAY. GOOD RIDDANCE TO JONES LANG LASALLE FOR THE NEXT 96 HOURS.

and with this vow, forever has now begun

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 14:30:29 GMT

I’m doing up my wedding guest list.

Let’s see, I’m pretty much set on who I’m inviting for the big day itself.

But I’m still confused about my ‘friends only’ table for the dinner. HMM. I’ve only got 5 thus far. The 5 SHOULD know who they are. If they don’t, then I can minus them off and invite Nsync instead.

And then I can get them to sing “This I Promise You” for me at the end of the night while hubby and I slow dance. Nsync and all their nasal-ness. I love it.

it ain't even half of what i'm feeling inside

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 13:56:06 GMT

My note to self for today :

“Remember, nothing is a loss. As the cliché saying goes, everything happens for a reason.

EVERYTHING.

What you need to realise is that even when you do not understand why certain things happen a certain way, you should always continue to believe that you are always being blessed. That God knows best and you shouldn’t question or have any doubts. Fear is normal. A bit of frustration is understood. Even being emo a little is forgiven. But at the end of it all, even if it takes some time for you to see the goodness in everything, you should have faith.

Funny jolts in your heart that remind you of the past should not stray you away from what is happening in the now. You shouldn’t depend your happiness on vague little memories of what used to be. Your happiness should be what is right in front of you now. Always tell yourself that the past didn’t follow through into the future because once upon a time, it made you unhappy - which was why you left it behind. So leave it be.”

Oh crap.

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 14:09:57 GMT

I’ve been trying to look for an awesome layout for the past 2 hours. And well, as you can plainly see, my layout is still set to the “Summertime” layout. I mean, its cute. But its not....awesome.

Yana, help? *waves SOS flag*

There You Go

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 15:09:47 GMT

I’ve finally realised it.

I’ve finally realised that I have been acting like such a silly little goose all along. I was being way too over-emotional and for what? Just to create unnecessary drama into my life. Typical huh.

I mean, I have finally found someone who adores me like heck and I don’t even know why or what he sees in me. I have found someone who wants to please me all the time and wants to do things for me and plan things for me just to make me happy cause making me happy makes him happy - things that I’ve only remotely dreamt for myself like travelling all over the world and building a nice home and having kids.

Someone who has a beautiful family who wants to include me in everything they do and respect me and care about what I think. And I don’t even think I deserve that. Someone who actually wants me enough to marry me and not just say all those sweet nothings. And I’m thinking about why the heck I am being so ungrateful as to think that my singlehood is being washed away right in front of me ever since he came into my life 4 months ago. When in fact, goodness, in fact, he is doing me an enormous favour in a way that Insha’Allah I will never have to endure heartbreak or the pain of going through finding a partner in all those meaningless relationships that I’ve always complained about.

And I finally realised that. That even if I might not have fallen head over heels in love with him like he did me, I’m starting to love him for the man that he is and the man that he aims to be for me and I consider myself the luckiest person alive right now. Because after all, I don’t think it is ever too early to commit yourself to someone. Being in love has always been and will always be the best thing that ever happens to a person. And for it to happen for me now, at just 20, wow, I should be down on my knees thanking God.

Now ain’t that something to smile about :)

Welcome to my new blog my dears.